Flying West
I hope there's a place, way up in the sky,
Where pilots can go, when they have to die.
A place where a guy can buy a cold beer
For a friend and a comrade, whose memory is dear;
A place where no doctor or lawyer can tread,
Nor a management type would ere be caught dead;
Just a quaint little place, kind of dark, full of smoke,
Where they like to sing loud, and love a good joke;
The kind of a place where a lady could go
And feel safe and protected, by the men she would know.
There must be a place where old pilots go,
When their paining is finished, and their airspeed gets low.
Where the whiskey is old, and the women are young,
And songs about flying and dying are sung.
Where you'd see all the fellows who'd flown west before,
And they'd call out your name as you came through the door.
Who would buy you a drink, if your thirst should be bad,
And relate to the others, "He was quite a good lad!"
And then through the mist, you'd spot an old guy,
You had not seen in years, though he taught you to fly.
He'd nod his old head, and grin ear to ear;
And say, "Welcome, my son, I'm pleased that you're here."
"For this is the place where true flyers come,"
"When their journey is over, and the war has been won."
"They've come here at last to be safe and alone"
"From the government clerks and the management drones,"
"Politicians and lawyers, the Feds and the noise,"
"Where all hours are happy, and these good ole boys"
"Can relax with a cool one, and a well deserved rest;"
"This is heaven, my son......You've passed your last test!"

WHY AIRPLANES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
- AIRPLANES are predictable.
- If you respect an AIRPLANE it will be good to you.
- AIRPLANES don't have to battle PMS.
- AIRPLANE skin doesn't wrinkle as badly.
- An AIRPLANE won't criticize your performance.
- An AIRPLANE doesn't care where you were last night.
- AIRPLANES don't cost as much money.
- AIRPLANES don't get pregnant.
- AIRPLANES are faster than most women.
- AIRPLANES don't take forever to warm up.
- AIRPLANES don't spend hours in front of a mirror.
- AIRPLANES like to do it inverted.
- AIRPLANES won't keep you waiting.
- AIRPLANES won't insist you shower before entering it.
- AIRPLANES don't cry when you break up with them.
- AIRPLANES don't talk back.
- AIRPLANES don't get headaches.
- AIRPLANES don't take half of everything.
- AIRPLANES never stand you up.
- It's easier to get "trim" in an AIRPLANE.
- Eventually, every AIRPLANE goes down.
- An AIRPLANE is cheaper to maintain.
- You can't get diseases from an AIRPLANE.
- AIRPLANES don't care if you fart.
- AIRPLANES have better struts.
- You can keep an AIRPLANE from stalling.
- AIRPLANES can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
- You can approach an AIRPLANE from the REAR.
- You can proudly show your AIRPLANE inside and out.
- An AIRPLANE won't slap you for being a "bush pilot".
- An AIRPLANE doesn't ask you to put on a raincoat before entry.
- You can easily leave an AIRPLANE before sunrise.
- AIRPLANE exhaust fumes smell better.
- AIRPLANES lose weight faster.
- You don't always have to "hand prop" an AIRPLANE.
- AIRPLANES don't care if you fall asleep while in them.
- AIRPLANES don't care if you enter thru the back door.
- An AIRPLANE does not get mad if you "touch and go".
- An AIRPLANE will not get mad if you ride someone else's airplane.
- An AIRPLANE's cockpit is cleaner.
- You can calculate the peak performance of an AIRPLANE.
- An AIRPLANE is easy to roll over.
- You can still ride a fifty year old AIRPLANE.
- Up to five people can ride in an AIRPLANE.
- AIRPLANES last longer.
- AIRPLANE's don't need as much lubrication.
- AIRPLANE's don't droop after ten years.
- AIRPLANES are easy to love.
- You don't have to sweet-talk an AIRPLANE.
- You can always tell when an AIRPLANE is going to give out.
- An AIRPLANE moves when you tell it to.
- AIRPLANES give a better ride for the money.
- An AIRPLANE goes anywhere you direct it to.
- Wide body AIRPLANES are more attractive.
- An AIRPLANE will kill you quick...a woman takes her time.
- An AIRPLANE takes less time to turn around.
- An AIRPLANE does not object to a preflight inspection.
- AIRPLANES don't make you "pull-out" to eject.
- You can change the looks of an AIRPLANE.
- AIRPLANES come with manuals.
- AIRPLANES can handle thrust better.
- A 747 can keep you up for 14 hours.
- You can adjust an AIRPLANE's attitude easily.
- Women have more drag than lift.
- An AIRPLANE's payload can be calculated.
- AIRPLANES have strict weight and balance limits.
- AIRPLANES have ash trays and tray tables.
- When you put fuel into an AIRPLANE, it does not spit it out.
- Sometimes you can ride AIRPLANES for free
- It's easier to understand what an AIRPLANE needs.

Rendezvous with a Dream
(dedicated to R. J. Cook, the wind beneath my wings)

It sits there
Sparkling and gleaming in the summer sun,
Giving off flashes of blinding light,
The chariot of my dream
For my dream
To my dream,

Outlined against the azure of its natural environment,
Appearing in motion even in immobility,
Straining at its bonds
Exuding the power
Excitement
Freedom
Joy

Of a dream about to be realized,
And it becomes a living thing to me.
Meeting this new love,
My fingers and palms long to touch and stroke it,
Caress its hardness, warm from the summer sun,

Trace its long, lean flanks
I walk around it
Shyly searching every surface, crack, crevice and opening
Hesitantly touching, probing, flexing, lifting, inserting
Until it is as familiar to me as a lover's body.

Open the door
Feel its heat blast my face and body
Inhale its sensuous aroma
Leather and metal
Fuel and oil
Sweat
As intoxicating as the scent of any lover.

Settle myself
And am tightly embraced
By belts and straps
As if by a lover's arms.
My fingers reach out
To stroke and explore its face
Probing
Eyes noting every nuance of
Temperament
Mood
Health
Willingness
Readiness
To
GO!

I warn the world I am about to release my love
And then
Hear the deep rumbling in its throat
As it springs to life
Under the caress of my hands.
Feel its power build
Straining for release
Not yet, oh, not quite yet, my love
We must await the permission of lesser beings
To begin our journey to joy.
Are you as eager to teach me as I am to learn?

I am sorry, my new love, that our first meeting
Must be chaperoned,

But I am not to be trusted alone with you yet.
Soon, love. soon!

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