Medicals from Hell
Page 53 Beginning with Case 65 at the bottom

Case 73 and Case 72 Two Nearly Identical recent Situations but Much Different Results.  Silbermans's List lives on and Bureaucratosis Spreads; ...

Case 74
A Medical from Hell in Several Parts
I was exposed to toxic mold and asbestos while working at the oh so ethically bereft corporation of Lockheed Martin. My lungs got so hozed from it that I developed a disease called "hypersensitivity pneumonitis" which, in short, means, in order to try to protect themselves, they begin to constrict the airways to limit the damage inflicted by the scum in the air and the asbestos. Hint: if you report what happens to you to the F.A.A., even though you have no lingering effects of the disease except a healthy dose of cynicism and disgust, you are indeed going to get screwed. Now, read on.

Next, I go see an AME in Grand Rapids, MI, that practices at Rectum Health (Spectrum Health) off M-37. Though I pass every single test, he reads my disclosure on the form and says; "gosh, I don't know what to do
now.." and then disappears. When he comes back, even though I have had my vision test and passed it, he takes the paper eye chart that says to hold it more than a foot from your face, shoves it to within a gnat's ass of my snoot, and demands I read it. At this time I grab it and tell him; "why don't YOU read it for me, you have the bifocals on" and of course, he can't read it either. I stride out of there a hundred and twenty bucks lighter and no medical.

My physicians send the requisite documents to him, and then another month ensues and not a clue what's going on. I call F.A.A. in Oklahoma City and Regional in Chicago, and a Dr. Heart actually tries to help me. He can see the notes the inept pile of camel dung left in the records about me, but reflects; "gee, there are no records in
there......"

Finally, with A.O.P.A.'s help, and my own ingenuity, I get Regional to send me their wish list, which in three parts says; "get another eye check done" and "get a pulmonary function test" and "declare you have had no dizziness or blurred vision" before the 17th. of June. All of this I do. But I send a letter to the regional gent, Nestor Kowalski, that in effect states; "you WILL send me the stuff the incompetent AME sent you, those are my records and I want them.."

You can guess the rest. The bone smokers in Chicago (regional) now do not acknowledge anything I send them, be it fax, e-mail, or smoke signal. I talked to A.O.P.A. and they suggest a lawsuit. As I have their legal coverage, they will help me, but I must wait another week.

Moral to the story: "when dealing with incompetent and inept F.A.A. beaurocracy, watch out, these dorks will hide your medical under some boulder and pretend they haven't got a clue what they did with it...", in essence, "my nearly 100k license isn't worth the shinola it's printed on.." Was it worth it? naw, be smart, expatriate, and get a license from a REAL GOVERNMENT, like the one in Zimbabwe or Tanzania. They're more ethical.

Next…
I am astounded. Today I told them in a fax that my patience had indeed ended. I told them; "it's now litigation time, gents.."I think they'll give my my medical. and yes, indeed I will keep you posted. don't want to buy the medical, I don't have any disqualifications, just happened to collide with their version of reality, which, in effect, is "I have the power to ground you and you better kiss my ass.." well, last time I checked my nose wasn't brown. Haven't been good at that one. must've lit a fire under someone's asshole there. Might be an illusion but I would like to think that I'll actually get my medical now. I can't see myself putzing with them alot longer than I already have. It takes alot of effort and far as I can see, the results are far less certain every second you proceed than when you began. I'm sure that asshole Silberman has a file with 'us' in it, his quest, if you would, to rid the planet of vermin airmen like us who are less aryan perfect than himself. bet the weasel has beady eyes and a snout like an anteater. anyway, you can add to the episode that threatening them with lawsuits doesn't necessarily hurt you either. I used to believe 'nice' was the way to go, but these dorks only understand raw unmitigated power. Some of them know their retirements would be in the air if 'fired' for incompetence because some congressman or senator out to make a name for his/herself sacrificed them to make a point.

I don't think they are as insular as you'd believe. but I do believe they have a severe manning problem (probably a severe competency problem as well, is my take on it) and hence, 'gridlock' ensues when ANY
paperwork goes to them. wanna hear something shitty? last medical I got, they charged me for the EKG and never performed it, but I have the receipt for it. How's that for bogus. I could have hooked one of my cats up to the fucker for all they'd have known, had they actually taken it....they pretend to ship that over the phone to the F.A.A. but that's bullshit.

so much for the medical. and I do believe you can buy them. I'd rather cut the license up and whip that to them and tell them to stick it than pay them money for something I am entitled to because I am not sick. one gent I talked to last week is about to lose his medical for diabetes. you wouldn't know it if you saw him. he's on oral insulin now but says in a few months, it'll have to be the injection pump or needle. then adios letter that says he can fly under the exemption.

competent pilot too. probably not unlike yourself, and my guess is, alot fitter than most of the airline stooges I have seen with pot bellies waddling thru airline terminals. not that portly makes one unhealthy, but if those fuckers are fit enough, so are you, and me, and the diabetic. no more risk than they are. who knows, in another universe somewhere, the F.A.A. is actually competent, isn't screwing pilots left and right, and doesn't have dorks like Silberman meting out medical executions. in another universe far far away.

Next…

well Gene, this is the latest:
apparently, those assholes at A.O.P.A. are probably in cahoots with the F.A.A., least in that even though I bought the insurance for the legal coverage, their lawyers won't call me back or assist. Their medical dude, Gary, seems to be peeved that I am so very inflexible about additional hoop jumping. As I type this, they got the additional stuff they required from me, regarding statements from me about no additional fainting spells, full PFT's, and vision checks, all passed. Allegedly, now A.O.P.A. says they want blood pressure monitoring too, which is a new addition to the requirements, which means "fishing expedition" here.

I spoke to a CNN anchor about this yesterday, she says they are likely to steamroller me strictly because nobody is minding the store (nobody's accountable) but is willing to try to help. For confidentiality reasons I won't mention her name here.

In addition, I wrote my two legislators from Michigan, both democrats, Levin is one of them, but I don't know how much help I will get. I took it up with Office of Special Counsel in Washington, D.C., and of course,
as you knew, I had complained to the Office of the Inspector Genital, Dept. of Transmogrification, but got no answer.

so, that's it in a nutshell. seems they can keep heaping things on this into infinity, the A.O.P.A. guy intimated they are like this because they fear a lawsuit. Duh? what the hell did they expect? a dozen roses? what assholes.

anyways, that's the report as of today. I also have had little luck in getting them to reply to me with anything meaningful in fax or e-mail, they only come back with snotty one liners. The only shining thing about it is the F.A.A. in OKC girl is polite. but A.O.P.A. is a bunch of turds. I wouldn't recommend them as dog catchers.
sincerely,

Case 73
The First of Two Medicals
Here is my account of my medical.. Names omitted to protect the guilty. I hope others learn from my experience. Its ironic that the FAA won't let you take medication to quit smoking, but you can smoke two packs a day and get certified without a problem. I have no doubt that the diminished lung capacity is more dangerous than the medication at 10,000 feet.

According to my instructor I am three or four flights away from soloing --- time to make an appointment with an AME so I will have my Student Pilot Certificate in hand when that day arrives.

Getting an appointment was easy. I found a doctor in San Jose on the FAA web site whose office is close enough to my home. The exam should be no problem. I'm 32, in good physical condition, with 20/20 vision, a non-smoker, and the only time that I have seen a doctor since I had mono in 1988 was to receive 12 stitches in my knee from a windsurfing accident. This morning I arrive at the doctor's office where I am promptly asked to urinate into a cup and given the FAA application to fill out. Pretty straight forward: I check "no" on every item except for allergies and hayfever. Now I need to list the medications that I currently take: Claritan and Flonase for my allergies, and...I hesitate. I started taking Wellbutrin (aka Zyban) to quit smoking several years ago. Since it proved very effective in my case and produced no side effects, my physician, who is also my best friend and a pilot, felt that there was no harm in my continuing to take it. My first inclination is to omit it from the form, but what if it affects my urinalysis? From my understanding, it is a relatively common and innocuous medication, so I decided, unlike many politicians, better to be honest now than to be caught in a lie later.

Continue To Next Page