Contents

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
- The Airline Airplane Law

Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
- Allen's Law

Opinion
I find flying to be an exercise involving all my senses.  I'm constantly LOOKING outside the cockpit to see what the airplane is doing in the real world (and from that you can detect sink rate thus airspeed, attitude, bank angle, turn rate, and turn coordination)

I'm LISTENING to the sound of the engine and wind thus detecting correct engine speed for what I'm doing (you learn to know the musical note of the engine in its cruise setting) and detecting a high airspeed when you can hear the wind rushing past the cockpit

I'm FEELING the airplane through my butt detecting balanced turns and to some extent sink rate and, of course, the bounces of some of my really miserable landings!

I can't say I'm SMELLING too much except maybe a fuel leak but it certainly comes into play when hand swinging to tell if it's flooded and if I TASTE fear, I know I've really cocked something up big time! :-)

So, there you have all 5 senses and not an instrument in the bunch! It all comes with concentrated time in the cockpit. I didn't get the feel of an airplane until I had about 30 hours in the same Cub and I got to know it backwards and forwards. By the time I had about 50 hours in it, I felt I could fly it without any instruments at all.

It'll come to you. You just have to fly with a bit of awareness of all your senses and what they're telling you. Now, this is all for VFR flight - it all goes out the window for instrument flying when you ignore your senses and fly it totally by instruments.  Well, not all of it goes out the window,   The competent IFR pilot uses sound, smell, feel, hearing, and muscle sensations

A Life Flying Backwards a la the The George Carlin Theory
The most unfair thing about flying is the way it ends. I mean, flying is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? Death. What's that, a bonus? Worse you lose your medical and have a living death. The FAA could avoid a flying death by allowing two pilots of questionable health fly as a team until one dies.  The survivor could then create another team.  Makes too much sense for a government agency.

I think the cycle of flying is backwards. You should give up flying first, get it out of the way. Then you live at an old age sitting in empty hangars talking with even older pilots. You get kicked out of the bragging rights group when you're too young, you get a couple of emails, and you work to age sixty. You move to the left seat, move to the right seat, get your ATP rating. Fly a thousand hours of instruction while getting your multi-engine, CFI, Instrument, and commercial. You pass the PP checkride and scratch your way trying to work and have a life out of flying. 

You finish school, you go to grade school, and you have a childhood. You play, you have no responsibility, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating, It all ends with an orgasm. 

 TAKING  FLYING LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
--A day without sunshine is like, night.
--On the other wing, you have a different color.
--I just got lost in thought without a GPS. It was unfamiliar territory.
--Most of flying statistics are made up on the fly..
--Barefoot pilots can count higher.
--When slipping I  feel like I'm flying diagonally in a parallel universe.
--Had a student forget how to straighten out before touchdown.  Plane didn't like it.
.--According to the FARs the right to remain silent, means anything said will be used against you.
--I wonder how much higher the sky would be without clouds.
--Remember half the pilots you know are below average.
--In a class of pilots what do you call the one with the lowest passing grade?  Pilot.
--Despite the cost of flying, have you noticed how popular airspeed remains?
--Ever noticed the number of high-performance aircraft that fly at 172 speeds to save fuel?
--Nothing in flying is foolproof to a talented fool.
--Weather forecasting is a non-prophet career.
--He who is in the slowest airplane gets hit in the rear by a bird.
--Sea Gulls may soar, but gophers don't get sucked into jet engines.
--The early bird may get the worm, but the early worm gets caught.
--Every day I set a new record, for my own longevity.
--I intend to fly forever -- so far so good --too, bad I got such a late start..
--The last recourse of reckless flying is faster reflexes
--When everything's coming your way, you're at the wrong altitude or going the wrong way.
--If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
--Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
--For every flight maneuver there is an equal and opposite CFI criticism.
--Aircraft bills travel through the airmail at twice the speed of payment checks
--No one is listening until your airplane makes a sound.
--No one is watching your flying until you make a mistake.
--Flying success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
--Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life, unless it's at the airport.
--Flight time is not deducted from your life span.
--You never really learn to swear until you learn to fly.
--Two wrongs are only the beginning, ask the Wrights.
--The sooner you fall behind the airplane, the less time you have to catch up.
--A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
--Change is inevitable except from FAA.
--Get a new plane for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
1- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2- Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3- Half the people you know are below average.
4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8- If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
9- All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
12- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19- I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

THE REAL, TRUE AND UN-EXAGGERATED RULES OF FLYING
1.If you really want to get better at flying, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
2.The process of flying is 90% mental and 10% mental.
3.Since bad landings come in groups of three; a fourth bad landing is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
4.When you fixate and cause an awful deviation, you will always look away again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the instrument.
5.Any change works for a maximum of three minutes and a minimum of not at all.
6.No matter how bad you are flying, it is always possible to fly worse.
7.Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your flight.
8.When your flight is over water, you can either carry more fuel, put on another engine or both.
9.If you're afraid full fuel tanks might not reach the destination while the headwind increases ahead of you, you have two options: you can immediately land for fuel, or you can wait until the tanks read empty and crash without fear of fire.
10.The less skilled the pilot, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the flying.
11.The inevitable result of any flying lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.
12.If the airplane won't hold heading or altitude, try changing your grip.
13.Pilots who claim they don't violate the FARs, also lie.
14.Everyone communicates better after ATC complements your quick clearing of the runway.
15.A precise flight is a test of your skill against everyone else's luck.
16.It's surprisingly easy follow a vector to an airport when you have been lost for the past half-hour.
17.Counting on a controller to inform you when he makes a mistake is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
18.Are Nonchalant flying logs the same as chalant flying.
19.It has not been a safe flight until you walk away from the aircraft.
20.The shortest distance between any two points on sectional is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large body of water.
20.5: All interesting destinations are located on sectional chart folds & edges.
21.There are two kinds of landing bounces: unexpected bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to land it.
22.You can hit the runway numbers 10% of the time, and everywhere else 90% of the time.
23.Every time a pilot makes a good landing, he must subsequently burn a tire to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
24.If you want to fly a better practice ILS, look out the window.
25.To calculate the groundspeed for your cross-country flight, double the forecast headwind and take half of your estimated airspeed. Spit out the window.
26.There are two things you can learn by trimming for hands-off flight, how many hands you have, and which foot is on the rudder.
27.Power lines attract; fairways repel.
28.You can put flaps in for the landing, you can slip with flaps for the landing but no pilot can put "grease" on for the touchdown
28.5 When you can't see the wires, fly over the poles..
29. The airport that you can see does not have the runway numbers you are expecting.  happens to the best of us.
30.If there is a runway under repair, the one you must use has a 90-degree crosswind, gusting to 25.
31.If the ILS is down at the airport, your ADF is in the shop.
32.Don't buy an autopilot until you've had a chance to fly in a thunderstorm.

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